I Let It Die...

I did not stay
I walked away
I don't know why
I let it die

The other day I was walking by a garbage dumpster. I heard a tiny little cry in there, so I tried to follow the sound. I had to move some garbage around. I found a tiny little baby puppy maybe just a few hours old. I don't know if the mother had birthed it in the dumpster or if someone had thrown it away. I lean towards the latter. It was a very hot day and it was sweltering in the bin. Babies and heat don't mix.

I touched it's little head and it stopped crying for a second.  In a flash, a hundred concerns passed through my head. I live in a foreign country and don't feel I have the skills yet to even meet all of my own needs. How can I care for this tiny little thing? Where do I buy it special milk, a syringe or nipple to feed it with? I know very little about my surroundings still. Where is a vet? When I travel, who will watch it for me? If I love it, and it dies, will I survive the heart break?

In Albania, as in most developing countries, I see dead dogs in the street or dying in the gutter. Dogs with no hair or crippled or starving. Animals are not taken care of and are disposed of as garbage. They don't spay or neuter. It's a harsh reality, and I've learned to build protection around my heart when I see a suffering animal. Protection of my heart is a survival tool I learned in Africa. It was there I saw so much death, disease, abuse, and torture. Protect my heart or die of sadness.

I cried for a minute, petting its head.  Then I made a decision to let it go. I decided not to prolong its suffering. I walked away. I did not stay. I let it die....
 

Home of Hope Bakery Begins!

"Be A Smile" young ladies from Holland donated 3,000 Euros to the HOH Bakery!

Tony with the children and staff of HOH orphanage.

Monday, July 8^th, 2013. A great friend and representative from Rotary Club of Tower Hamlets, London, arrived in Elbasan to meet the staff of Home of Hope (HOH), assess the unfinished bakery, and to meet the Elbasan Rotarians.  Since April, HOH funding has been severely cut by their major donor CRY, and it is vitally important that (1) HOH becomes sustainable without dependence on donors in order to survive. It was while I was living at HOH in April that I learned of their financial troubles, and with the help of my colleague, we decided that completing the bakery was the best option to help the orphanage become sustainable. (2) The Bakery also brings job experience, business skills and income opportunities to the older children of HOH, who by law, have to leave the orphanage by the young age of 15. This project meets two of USPC COD goals.

Racks and a mixer are already in place. 

We spent Monday morning talking with Alban Nedelko, director of HOH.  We toured the Orphanage, took pictures of the bakery, and discussed all issues and challenges facing the orphanage and the bakery.

 This diesel oven needs to be sold and replaced with an electric oven.

By law, these 15 year old kids need to leave the orphanage. The HOH Bakery will give them business skills, employment opportunities and the income they need to be successfully independent.

That evening we all attended Rotary Club of Elbasan’s meeting.  Because the funds for the bakery will be channeled through Rotary, the Rotary Club of Tower Hamlets will be working closely with Elbasan Rotary Club. In attendance were Hajdar Sejdini, the Current President, Albana Drenogllava, Past President, Edmond Kristo, Treasurer and several other key members. As this is the first international project that Elbasan Rotarians have done with another club, it has taken them awhile to set up an independent Club bank account. It was a successful night with new friendships and plans set into action.

Meeting with the Elbasan Rotarians and their crucial role in the HOH Bakery. 

Tuesday, July 9^th, 2013. We headed to Spille Beach to enjoy the day with the HOH kids and get to know the staff better. Spille Beach was made possible by a group of 8 young ladies from Holland who raised the necessary funds to take HOH on summer vacation for 8 nights.  Their group name is “Be a Smile”. We met these amazing young ladies, and learned how they each became involved with Be a Smile, and what brought them to Albania to do this great act of service.  I had met their leader Anouk Vaarkamp in April while visiting HOH on my first day of practicum during PST. She told us today that they had raised extra money and were donating it HOH for the bakery!  We had a special ceremony and they presented Alban a check for 3,000 Euros.  We now had the start up money we needed to begin! 

( Above) The HOH group with the girls from Holland. (Below) Me with the girls.

We sat down with Alban and made a plan of action, discussed necessary start up costs, and set up a time frame for action:

Step one:  Sell the old diesel oven

Step two:  Find and price a new electric oven

Step three:  Get electricity operating

Step four:  Buy pie machine

Step five:  Begin producing pies while waiting for oven 

When the oven is ready to be bought, the money will be sent through Elbasan Rotary. I will be the main accountant for all the funds. Working closely with the accountant of HOH and the Treasurer of the Elbasan Rotary Club, I will record the transfers, the deposits and all of the expenditures for the bakery into Quickbooks accounting program. I will maintain accountability in every way and send regular reports to Rotarians, HOH, Be A Smile, and USPC. The journey to sustainability for HOH has begun!

Foundation "Home of Hope" Elbasan, Albania

 

Summer Vacation with Home of Hope Children

 

Ten days at a beautiful beach in Albania surrounded by 15 children and wonderful staff is my idea of a perfect vacation!  Yes, this is my Albanian Peace Corps experience this summer.  And it just keeps getting better and better. This blog will be dedicated to the actual camp experience; the activities, the schedule and the people.  The next blog will update everyone on my bakery project at Home of Hope.

WHO? Thirteen children of HOH and some of their friends and children of staff members made the total children head count up to 21. Staff members came with some of their family members and we invited a talented musician to come with us for entertainment every night. Eight beautiful young ladies came from Holland to spend the week with us. They are the ones that raised the funds to pay for this summer holiday, but I will get to their story in a bit. We were a group of about 50 people.

WHERE?  We stayed at a fantastic seaside hotel in beautiful Spille Beach on the Albanian coast.

WHEN?  July 9 to July 17th

WHY?  For fun, activities, relaxing, building relationships, boosting our energy, sharing laughs, circle dancing, eating great food, and spending time with the kids.

WHAT? The list of activities planned by the Holland girls was incredible.  They planned an activity every morning and every late afternoon.  Here is a list of things we did:

Tuesday PM:  Arrival day- Free play at beach.

Wednesday AM: Decorate picture frames for memento of beach. PM: Face painting/photos.

Thursday AM: Build sand pyramid. PM: Carnival games, beach volleyball.

Friday AM: Beach Games, relays, water balloons. PM: Capture the flag (in the forest).

Saturday: A Day in Durres.  Rode fair rides, played games, 6D cinema, ate at restaurant.

Sunday AM: Relax at Beach.  PM: Game stations.

Monday AM: Beach Play or long walk to General Beach). PM: Treasure hunt in forest for games.

Tuesday AM: Slippery slide at beach. PM: Bomb fire on beach with singing.

Wednesday- Leave for Elbasan.

Some of the rules of camp included:
Respect time for activities.
Drink lots of water and wear a hat.
NEVER go to the beach without staff.
Take care in the sea and don't go out far.
Speak quietly in the corridors.
Don't use offensive words with each other.
Keep personal hygiene.
Keep you room clean.
Don't fight or yell in public.

These rules and our daily schedule was posted on the door where every child and adult could see them.  The camp was so well done and we had so much fun.  I will let the pictures speak for themselves. 

Back to the young ladies from Holland.  Eight young ladies from Holland came together for one purpose; to raise money to fund the summer vacation of an orphanage in Albania.  They raised even more money than expected and gave in many other ways!  No expense was shared as they paid for staff drinks at night, added a day out in the city for the kids, took the kids to a restaurant and let them order ANYTHING they wanted to eat, and even donated $4,000 to the completion of the bakery (more on that later). I have never been so impressed with a group of youth such as these girls. It was such a great blessing to my life to meet them, get to know and love them.

To sum it all up, the last two weeks have been full of such adventure and excitement. I am being placed in the path of amazing people who are improving my life and making it better and better. For this, I am grateful.

 

Never Give Up Hope

 



I came to live at the Home of Hope Orphanage in April.  April was also the first month that their sole donor sent no funds to the orphanage.  There was no advanced warning.  Just an email, which says; We are very sorry we can't send you money for April.  We will try to send you some in May.

There are 13 children living here and a dedicated staff.  What were they to do?  It was decided and agreed upon that everyone would work for free in April.  There was no other choice.  How many of us in America or in Europe would or even could work for free for one month?  The Home of Hope staff loves these children. They love their jobs, and there was nothing else they could no.  Except hope.  Hope that things would get better.  And pray.  Hope and Pray.

That's when they asked me if I could help them find funding. Me?  I am still a student drowning in reports, projects, and language.  I wanted to help but I didn't know how.  I too prayed for and with them.  And I thought and thought.  I shared my concerns with a fellow Rotarian and friend and he came up with an idea.  Let's finish the bakery that the orphanage started 6 months ago, he says.  Eventually, the bakery has the potential to help the orphanage become self-sustainable.  It is a great idea.  So the funds to finish the Home of Hope bakery are coming through Rotary and it is an answer to prayers and a reason to never give up hope.

But....Money moves slowly through Rotary.  Projects move slowly in Albania.  A bakery takes time to build.  It takes even more time for it to become sustainable.  And even more time for the bakery to help the orphanage become sustainable. How much time do we have?  Not much.  But we can't give up.  Ever.  There are no other alternatives. 

It is May now.  The donor sent 1/2 the usual money and said this is all they could send from now on each month.  Half.  It seems hopeless. It's definitely difficult for everyone. Today I attended the staff meeting.  I watched every staff member sign an agreement to accept the lowest wage acceptable by law, or what we in America call the minimum wage. There was no alternative.  What else could they do?  Imagine losing over 1/2 your salary or even more with no arguement. Imagine how difficult their already difficult lives are going to become!  How many of us could do this?  I witnessed it.  They were so strong.  It was ME who cried for THEM!  It will get better I say, "Don't give up hope".



The staff did this because they love the children. If the orphanage goes "bankrupt", what would happen to the children? I refuse to let it even be an option.  For I believe that those that are in the service of children and orphans are in the service of God.  And these are God's children.  They are his orphans, and He will provide a way for Home of Hope.  We can never give up hope!

"Home of Hope" Elbasan, Albania



Hope or Freedom?

 

"Before communism we had no freedom, but we had hope.  Now we have freedom, but no hope".  This is a statement from one of our speakers here in Albania. It is also an opinion I have heard from two other people I have had conversations with.  I've been thinking deeply about this.

What is more important in life; freedom or hope?  Do you have to lose one to get the other? On the good side, with communism everything and everyone was the same.  Unemployment didn't exist. Everyone had a house, job security, and basic food. Laws were obeyed and enforced so crime was very low. There are a few good things about communism that I had never taken the time to think about. Some people are nostalgic about it, and some don't even want to discuss it. It is very interesting to me.

On the other hand, the people lived with much more fear under communism.  People disappeared for many reasons.  It wasn't a good thing to be different or to stand out or to speak out.  There were many work camps and political prisoners.  Religious freedom was taken away.  There was even something called "mandatory" volunteer work, which to me seems like an oxymoron.

I'm not an expert on communism at all.  Not even close.  I only know what I am hearing and reading. I wouldn't like being told I couldn't practice my religion.  Albania was a very atheist country during communism and most churches and places of worship were destroyed.  I wouldn't like knowing that if I produced more or better work it wouldn't matter because we will all be paid the same no matter what. Young adult life hasn't been easy for my kids in the US and I wonder if they would have liked having a guaranteed job and a place to live regardless of their work ethic?  But for what price?

Another man I talked with had lived in London for 6 years.  He tried for years to get a work visa there but was unable to, so he had to return to Albania.  He says he feels he is living in a big prison cell.  Is life really so bad, I ask?  I have seen much worse in Africa, I tell him.  You have fertile ground to grow food, the home of your parents to live in, the freedom to worship and travel.  He still didn't think his life had hope.  He listed his complaints; horrible corruption in every government office, the need to pay bribes to get anything done, such large potholes in the roads that destroy vehicles, high levels of poverty, high prices, low wages, huge unemployment rate, unenforcement of laws, terrible medical care, etc. Even if a new political party won the upcoming elections, he feels it will just be bad leadership taking over the current bad leadership.  I just listened.  What could I say?

We are here to do what we can to help.  Albania is one of only a few countries that let US Peace Corps work in their government offices to help with the restructure of power and resources from the top (Prime Minister) to the bottom (local level).  We want to help get those resources to the people who need them.  We need to help get the resources down to the local level so they can fix their roads, provide social services to the poor, provide more job opportunities, and better medical conditions to the local people and so many other things.

It's an exciting time for Albania as they try to get into the European Union.  Next month is a big trial for them as they have a major election for prime minister.  Will it be Berisha, Democratic Party and in power for many years with a history of major corruption?  Or will it be Rama, leader of the Socialist Party, who also has a history of corruption?  If Rama wins, many current government leaders will be replaced with his own men. Many people have the potential to lose their jobs in this election.  It is a very stressful time for Albanians.  And it will continue to be so until the election on June 23rd. 

For us as PCVs, we are not involved in any way.  We are to sit back and watch the process unfold.  It is an experience of a life time.  I enjoy reading the newspapers and staying current on the finger pointing and fighting.  It's not so much different than our latest US election between Obama and Romney; lots of mud slinging and name calling and defamation!   

As to my original comment.  Can there be freedom AND hope?  Yes, I will always choose freedom first, because no one can EVER take your hope away.  With freedom,  I believe you can always hope things can become better....eventually.

Shtepia e Shprese (Home of Hope)

My new home for now. HOME OF HOPE ELBASAN, ALBANIA

13 new language teachers and 13 new friends.

Things changed quickly for me.  Two weeks after I arrived, the host mother where I was living went to Italy to be with her husband.  They left me with their 3 teenage kids.Time to move!  I have a new home now in Elbasan at the Home of Hope.  Home of Hope is an orphanage run by an amazing and dedicated staff. There are 13 children from 4 to 15 years living here. I have 13 new teachers of language, 13 new friends, and 13 new people to love and to be loved by. The place is spotless and the food is nutritious and delicious. Life is good.

Playing games with the children 

I have been here for two weeks now.  My first Saturday here was my daughter's birthday, April 27th.  I bought a cake, gathered up all the children, and we sang "Happy Birthday" to Kayla in both English and Albanian.  I uploaded it on FB for her.  It was SOOO beautiful and it made many cry. I miss my baby girl!

Kayla's Birthday cake spelled "Keila" here. 

Monda with the children.  They are SO READY to eat Kayla's cake!

I went on a hike with the children on May 1st on Labor Day.  We hiked into the hills outside of Elbasan.  We layed out some blankets and were resting in the shade of some beautiful olive trees, playing games, and eating a snack when a lady accosted us and yelled for us to leave her field. "We were smashing the grass that the goats needed to eat."  I didn't understand all she said, but she was mad!  We stayed.  We were "kokeforte" (head strong or stubborn).  Soon her husband came by and started to toss our blankets and shoes onto the path.  We held our position yet again.  BUT then he let the goats out into the field; very big and curious billy goats (big male goats).  The goats terrified the kids (me too)!  I thought they were going to eat our clothes, our fingers, and possibly us. It was time to go! RUN CHILDREN RUN!

RUN!   

I dont like the goats either, buddy!

For my project, I have identified many meaningful projects that can be done by Peace Corps volunteers as secondary projects on the orphanage side.  Projects like setting up and monitoring a reading program for each of the children with goals and rewards.  This will get them reading at an early age and open their minds to the adventure of reading.  Also teaching the older kids successful job hunting skills, how to write a resume, how to dress for success, how to interview and other job skills. The orphanage needs someone to write grants and proposals to find funds to finish a bakery they have started to build in order to become more self sufficient and less dependent on donors.  The bakery can employ and teach business skills for the older children who have to leave the home by the age of 16 years (3 of them face leaving this year). I just have so many ideas.  I wish I could stay here and do it all....

Relaxing under the trees... 



Each and every day is a gift of joy at the Shtepia of Shprese, or Home of Hope.  It is a Christian organization and I definitely feel the spirit here.  It has been food for my soul.  In fact, it is the first time I have come into such a spiritual environment since I left the US 3 years ago.  I needed this in every way. Every evening we read a few Bible verses and discus it, we say prayers before bed and before every meal. Sometimes I hear my name in the prayers the children say. All of this is done in total Albanian. I marvel how I ended up here.  What a blessing it has been to my life.

 

I read to the younger kids.  I play UNO, watch videos, teach English, learn Albanian, and help when they let me with anything that needs to be done. I am only here in the evenings as I leave for school early in the morning and return in the late afternoon when my homework is done. Every evening I get 13 hugs and kisses before bed. I love these children so much.  It will be hard to leave.

Other Staff at Home of Hope

The weather went from cold to hot in the past two weeks.  I love it.  I will never complain about the heat. No more heavy socks or boots or coats or long underwear or 10 blankets.  Everything is green and growing fast.  Days are passing too.  Next week I will visit Kocove, my new site.  I will meet the people I will be working with and see my apartment. It's a lot to look forward to.....

Last Sunday was Orthodox Easter.  I was invited to a friend's house, and it was quite a celebration.  Here we are holding an entire roasted sheep!

The Sheep is cooking on a spit. 

A large happy family, lots of great food, laughing, and good times! 

Sheep Head.  It's whats for dinner! 

...and even some dancing....